“How is the Blog Going?”

Thank you to my friend Jennifer for asking the question and for pointing out that I had just written the first blog post within our conversation. Everything unfolds when and how it’s supposed to. This is, in reality a great example of how offering works in my life. How, when I listen to Divine Guidance and remain available for answers, they come at the right time, in the most perfect way…

“When I was so strongly pulled to do this deep dive into offering and create the blog, it just felt so incredibly right… exciting and terrifying and as if I had just found a crucial piece to the best puzzle, ever. I chose a name, created a wordpress site, and started looking at the journal already in progress to see what wanted to be posted first…

And then I kept getting signs to breathe and wait and not to rush. With Mars going retrograde and all the other transitions, I felt compelled to do just that. Journal, offer, and wait. Over the last days, I’ve begun a familiar dance with my inner kid who is about 15. She has a fear of failure that is slightly different. Hers is “I won’t actually do this.” Or… “I never finish anything I start…” The thing that’s different this time when she showed up, is that I see her, now. Really, truly see her. And I know she isn’t in charge. And more importantly, she, more than anyone WANTS me to do this. To do just what I say I’m going to do. Hell, she needs me to do this. For months now, I’ve been telling her she can do anything she chooses to do. That her dad was so wrong. That what he said was all about him and nothing about her… I’ve been saying all of that. And now? Now, I need to do something. She needs to do it right along with me. And the coolest part is, I never doubted for one minute this blog would happen. Even when it hit me that I had once again started and stopped; I knew it was just a moment for me to acknowledge that kid and to intentionally bring her along. And the other really important piece in this is my dad. When this has happened before, I would blame him. I would look back at the moment where he tried to take my dreams away and I would blame him. Not really with anger anymore, but with a “Well, this is why I do this” kind of mantra. But, I think I have released the blame piece. I am not feeling it at all. I’m feeling grateful for his part in my journey. All of it. As if watching the credits after a movie that changed my life, he’s there, Mom’s there, all of the bullies who ever beat me up… You get my drift. Teachers come in all forms. I heard once that the souls who come here with us and play parts that seem to hurt us the most? Those are the souls who Love us the deepest; who we Love the deepest. Those are the hardest roles to play for someone. Who knows if that’s true. In any case, because of Tosha’s teachings and because I’m in a place of readiness for her teachings, this journey will happen in the way that’s already chosen for it to happen. However big or small. It’ll be what’s needed.” (From a conversation between friends)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s